How to Write a Sympathy Note

If you need to write a sympathy note, here is the perfect thing to help you out. A hand-written sympathy note is a wonderful expression of sympathy. It really is not difficult to do. I can walk you through it.

A sympathy note only needs to be about 5-10 sentences long. Sympathy notes tend to be a bit longer than messages written in a sympathy card, but not as long as a sympathy letter. Your note can be folded and put in a sympathy card or you can write it on nice stationery.

Okay, let's get started...

A Simple Way to Write a Sympathy Note

I came across this helpful reminder a while back. It is an anagram that explains the 4 parts of a sympathy note. I can't remember exactly how it goes, but I think it is something like this:

N -Name the deceased O -Offer sympathy T -Tell a story E -End thoughtfully

The first step in writing your sympathy note is to start off the note by mentioning either how or when you heard the news of the death. It is personable and comforting to mention the deceased's name.

Here is an example of a good opening sentence:

"I was deeply saddened to hear the news of Tom's death yesterday."

The next step is to offer your condolences, for example:

"I am so sorry for your loss."

The next step is critical it can offer much encouragement and even a tearful smile if you do it right. However it is important that your story is brief and appropriate. If you cannot think of a story bring up a favorite quality of the deceased or something you know others appreciated about them.

Here are several examples of this important step:

• "I remember when I first met..."
• "Tom was a wonderful friend and generous man."
• "I'll never forget when he..."
• "Tom will be missed for his..."
• "I always loved the way Tom..."

The final touch is to close your sympathy note with a thoughtful sentiment.

There are many common sympathy card expressions you can use or see this list to get ideas to make up your own. You could also use sympathy verses.

Check out Verses for Sympathy Cards for some good ideas

A few things to avoid when you write a sympathy note

• Don't talk about yourself
• Don't even mention a similar loss you've experienced
• Don't use your note as an opportunity to catch up
• Don't offer any kind of advice or opinions

You may also be interested in:

How to Write a Sympathy Letter

Sympathy Cards and Comforting Messages

Ideas for Sympathy Card Sentiments

Back to Sympathy Etiquette Questions

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