When it comes to offering words of sympathy, even close friends are at a loss for words. You may be wondering if you should say something. You might be worried about saying the wrong thing or coming across as insincere.

Some common phrases that are meant to be encouraging such as, "time will heal all wounds" can actually be hurtful. There are better ways to offer encouraging words and also ways to inspire hope in a dismal circumstance.

Perhaps the most important role you can play in supporting a hurting loved one is to offer words of comfort. Share quotes, poems and stories. You can reminisce with them and help them recall good memories. As you listen to them share, you can put regrets and remorse in perspective. You can reassure them that it is OK to cry around you, or to vent and be angry. Offering words of sympathy is about encouraging the grieving process instead of avoiding or minimizing it.

Finding the Right Words to Express Sympathy

When searching for what to say to a grieving loved one it helps to keep in mind that all they may want is acknowledgement of their loss and kind gestures. A simple "I am sorry for your loss" may be all that is needed. Sometimes a hug is just right or offering help of some kind. Statements that validate the mourner's feelings and encourage sharing are helpful. Here are some examples:

• "I am so sorry for your loss."
• "I'll be right here, if you need a listening ear."
• "Could I help you..." (Make a specific offer)
• "Our family will miss (Donna) so much."
• One of my favorite memories of (Jim) is..."
• "I remember when I first met (Julie) she was so..."
• "I've always enjoyed the way (Tom) always..."

Sharing Words of Condolence and Sympathy to Comfort Many

If you have been asked to share a few words, give a eulogy speech or memorial tribute you have a wonderful opportunity to bring comfort to many. Sympathy sayings and quotes that offer hope and encouragement are welcomed by grieving friends and family. Sharing a story or memory of the deceased that helps the bereaved remember their loved one can be especially comforting.

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