Many people decide they will stay in touch with a bereaved friend at the funeral, but weeks and months pass on and they just get too busy. Support for the bereaved usually diminishes two or three weeks after the death, but they are very much still grieving. In fact now that the shock has worn off, they may be in even worse shape, emotionally. Every birthday, anniversary and holiday is lonely and painful.

We often have good intentions of staying in touch, but life gets hectic. It seems like every January I decide that this is the year I am going to be better about remembering birthdays and anniversaries. It's my most common New Year's resolution.

Here are some simple ways you can stay in touch and provide long-term support to a bereaved friend or family member. All of these ideas can be done today and the recipient will enjoy your thoughtfulness for a week to a year.

Sending Support and Encouragement

I've discovered the best way to help me stay in touch is the e-card reminder system at Blue Mountain Greetings. I signed up and entered in the e-mail addresses of friends and family and their dates. You can even preselect all the cards you will send for the coming year. You can do it now while it's on your mind.

You loved one's will receive a timely greeting from you regardless of what is going on in your life on the week of their birthday or other occasion. I've been really impressed the power of e-cards. The beautiful messages and pictures put to music are really touching.

This is how I stay in touch with my grandmother who is a recent widow. Blue Mountain has a Support and Encouragement section. I do not send a sympathy card again. I usually send a "Thinking of You" or "Sending You a Hug" card. By the way, Blue Mountain has the largest selection of sympathy cards and also this type of encouragement greeting.

The only problem with e-cards is that not everyone uses the internet or checks their e-mail regularly. And I have to admit that as much as I love the internet, sometimes it's nice to receive a real tangible paper greeting card.

It you want to send a beautiful greeting card on just the right day. CardsRemembered.com offers a wonderful service. You sign up and select all the cards you want to have sent in advance and they send them all, on time. Also they pay the postage. If you struggle to get cards in mail like I do, this may be just the thing for you.

For a grieving friend or family member, I would opt to have a greeting card sent to them on any day that I know might be difficult for them and also on holidays.

Some important times to send encouragement are on:

• The anniversary of the death
• The departed loved one's birthday
• Anniversaries or other special dates
• Holidays, especially Christmas

Being There When You Cannot Be Present

Here's another great idea. Proflowers has a farm fresh fruit club that enables you to have in season fruit delivered to your loved ones door step.

You do the work now (signing up and paying). They enjoy the fruit of your labor all year long. It's really not much work at all and your loved one receives a delicious gift every month. To them it will feel like they are receiving a gift from you every day, as they enjoy the fresh produce all month long. It's a really great way to make your love and support evident even when you cannot be present.

I really like long lasting gifts like this. If you do too, you may also like Send a Meal for gourmet meals and dinners nationwide.

You can have a week's worth of gourmet dinners delivered to a loved one's doorstep. What a great way to comfort and support. You can include a personalized message with your order. You can say something like, "You are in our thoughts, hope this makes your week easier." What a wonderful way to comfort and support grieving friends and family.

The All Time Best Way to Stay in Touch

Don't forget the value of a simple phone call. Any time that a grieving friend comes to mind, you should give a call. You don't have to have something amazing to say. Just let them know that they came to mind today and give them a chance to share what is on their mind. They may feel an expectation to have "moved on" since the death, but chances are they have not. The need to discuss their feelings and remember their loved one is still there and being a friend who is willing to listen can support grieving individuals. If you feel a little anxious about saying the right things, here are some ideas.

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