There are many ways to help someone grieving. Do you have any special skills or abilities that might be of service? Are you able to:

• Pick up groceries
• Do gardening or yardwork
• Car or home repairs
• Cleaning or organizing around the house
• Help with paperwork or financial planning
• Driving them to appointments or on errands around town
• Bringing in the mail
• Take out trash

When everyone pitches in and offers assistance according to their time and skills, the resulting circle of love and support can be just the right thing to help someone grieving get by.

"If There is Anything You Need, Just Let Me Know"

If you have ever lost a loved one, you've probably experienced this. So many people say, "just let me know, if there is anything I can do." It is a nice thing to say and it means that they want to help, but it is unlikely that a grieving person will seek out somebody whose has said this and actually ask for help. Unfortunately, some people just offer help casually and don't really mean it. It is just one of those things people say because they don't know what else to say.

Either way it has become a meaningless phrase. It leaves the mourner wondering if you really want to help her, what kind of help she should ask for, and if she will be a burden to you.

I am not saying that you should feel bad for saying, "If there is anything I can do..." I know I've said it many times. People realize that such a statement is well intentioned.

If you are able to do something to help, try to make your offer specific.

It is as simple as rephrasing your statement.

Instead say, "I really want to help, how about if I..."

Or

• "I would like to help you by picking up your groceries"
• "Would you like it if I stayed and visited for awhile?"
• "I would love to do some yardwork for you, is that OK?"

The person that truly desires to help someone grieving well be treasured for a lifetime. People who have suffered loss and grief always remember the people that got them through day to day.

A Sympathy Gift That Really Helps

Enclose one of these, "I am thinking of you and want to help" gift certificates in a sympathy card. This can be a thoughtful and unique way to show that you really do want to help and relieve the pressure of trying to figure what to ask for help with.

Print one off here, it's free!

• Yard work help
• House cleaning
• Grocery Shopping

Back to Comforting the Bereaved

Return Home from Ways to Help Someone Grieving