Infant loss, stillbirth and miscarriage are perhaps the most difficult times to offer words of sympathy. I cannot tell you very many things you can say to help parents who are experiencing this heartache, but I can tell you that simple gestures and acknowledgements are desperately needed for bereaved parents to cope with the death of their baby.

Perhaps the most helpful gesture you can make is to give grieving parents a way to honor and commemorate their precious baby. Miscarriage tends to not be acknowledged as much as other losses, yet this profound loss can cause deep grief that is difficult to reconcile without some kind of tangible way of finding closure. Acknowledging infant loss by sending flowers, a card or a memorial gift can really mean a lot.

Miscarriage jewelry makes a beautiful sympathy gift that gives a grieving woman a token of remembrance.

La Bella Dame is a wonderful source for Healing Jewelry for Miscarriage, Infant Loss, Fertility, Sympathy, Pregnancy and Birth and also a place for women to post a memorial of their baby.

Another great source for remembrance jewelry and memorial keepsakes is My Forever Child

I found the My Forever Child website after a good friend of mine had suffered a miscarriage. I am so thankful that this website exists and I know that it has been a tremendous blessing to countless parents.

Another resource that has helped many parents cope with their loss is a wonderful nonprofit organization called, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. They have provided a special way for giving hope to grieving moms and dads as they cope with infant loss. If this is a loss close to your heart, you may want to consider donating to this organization. They provide beautiful professional portraits to bereaved parents at no cost. This is one of the most touching videos I've ever seen.

The Best Ways to Offer Support for Infant Loss

Encourage her to share her thoughts and feelings, be comfortable with strong emotions and tears. Don't feel like you need to avoid asking the bereaved about how they feel, not speaking about the baby's death does not lessen the pain, so you do not need to avoid bringing it up or asking bereaved parents if they'd like to talk about it.

Offer to help with practical needs and household chores. It might only by something little that you are able to do, bringing over a meal or sending a carepackage, but it's the fact that you are doing something that speaks volumes. Many times people are overwhelmed with the sadness of infant loss and because they feel so hopeless they do nothing.

Please do not avoid grieving parents. Make a simple gesture, even just sending a card to acknowledge their loss. Let them know that you are sad for them.

Here are some phrases to avoid saying:

• "It was meant to be."
• "It was for the best."
• "Your baby is in a better place now."
• "Time heals all wounds."
• "I know exactly how you feel." (even if you have experienced a similar loss)
• "At least you have other children." or "you can always have another baby."

Sympathy Poems for Miscarriage and Infant Loss

So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Author Unknown

A gift for such a little while,
your loss just seems so wrong,
you should not have left before us,
it’s with loved ones you belong.

Do not judge a song by its duration
Nor by the number of its notes
Judge it by the richness of its contents
Sometimes those unfinished are among the most poignant…
Do not judge a song by its duration
Nor by the number of its notes
Judge it by the way it touches and lifts the soul
Sometimes those unfinished are among the most beautiful…
And when something has enriched your life
And when it’s melody lingers on in your heart.
Is it unfinished?
Or is it endless?
Author Unknown

Just Those Few Weeks
by Susan Erlin

For those few weeks-
I had you to myself.
And that seems too short of time
To be changed so profoundly.
In those few weeks-
I came to know you... And to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!
Just those few weeks-
When I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,plans, dreams, and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
Just those few weeks-
It wasn't enough time to convince others
How special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
And no one is mourning the passing.
Just a mere few weeks-
And no "normal" person would cry all night
Over a tiny, unfinished baby,
Or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?
You were just those few weeks my little one
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
To make my life so much richer-
And give me a small glimpse of eternity

Stillborn
by Leonard Clark

I carried you in hope, the long nine months of my term,
remembered that close hour when we made you,
often felt you kick and move
as slowly you grew within me, wondered what you would look like
when your wet head emerged, girl or boy, and at what glad moment
I should hear your birth cry, and I welcoming you
with all you needed of warmth and food; we had a home waiting for you.
After my strong laborings, sweat cooled on my limbs,
my small cries merging with the summer air,
you came. You did not cry. You did not breathe.
We had not expected this; it seems your birth had no meaning, Or had you rejected us?
They will say that you did not live, register you as stillborn.
but you lived for me all that time in the dark chamber of my womb,
and when I think of you now, perfect in your little death,
I know that for me you are born still; I shall carry you with me forever,
my child, you were always mine, you are mine now. Death and life are the same mysteries.

Find more sympathy poems and bereavement poems here

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