Words of Sympathy & Ways to Comfort

What to Say When There is Nothing You Can Say

Offering words of sympathy is one of the most difficult things we face in this life. The fear of saying the wrong thing can leave us...at a loss for words.

We know that nothing we say or do can take away the pain.

We know that grief cannot be fixed with a gift or flowers.

We can't imagine what they are going through.

We may want to avoid the whole depressing situation altogether.

Did you know that most bereavement forums have a section devoted to venting about the rude and insensitive things people have said?

Did you know that many grieving people feel isolated from their friends and family?

Did you know that many of the most hurtful remarks actually come from the nicest people?

Here's the amazing thing I've figure out. The simple things we do to express sympathy actually mean the most. It's when we start to make it complicated by trying to fix things or provide explainations that we get into trouble. That's about when our foot is heading for our mouths.

Sometimes it's the religious crowd (myself included) that really has an issue with this. We think that when something awful happens we should provide a reason why. We value having the right answer over empathy.

That's this one:
"God works all things out for good."

If you didn't know that this comment is not really helpful to someone mourning, now you do!

Simple sympathy is all about doing the little things that really make a difference to the grieving.

• No advice
• No solutions
• No easy answers

Just:

A listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a comforting card, a phone call, a song, a poem, a thoughtful gift, a prayer, a hug and other simple things that make one day a little easier.

This also makes it so much easier to comfort a grieving loved one. You will find so many wonderful ideas here at Simple Sympathy. Not only will you not put your foot in you mouth, I bet you will be a treasured friend when it matters the most.

Here are some more words of sympathy for specific situations. Each of these pages has example statements, tips for helping a loved one who is grieving a particular loss and resources that you can recommend.