In Lieu of Flowers: What is the Appropriate Amount of Money to Donate?

by Gina
(NJ)

The person who passed away is the owner of a company that my company deals with. Since I've gotten to know him and the family I consider them friends. So, what would be the proper donation amount?

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Dear Gina,
There really is no specified amount, it is entirely up to you how much money you'd like to donate.

In most cases the family is given a list of the names of individuals who made donations to the selected charity, but the dollar amount is not revealed.

I should say too that many people, especially florists, are eager to change the phrase "In Lieu of Flowers." It causes much confusion. Many people wonder if it means that they should not send flowers at all. What about memorial gifts or other expressions of sympathy? And of course there is the issue that your question brings up. How much big should the donation be?

I'd like to quickly address some of these questions. "In Lieu of Flowers" does not mean that you should not send flowers or gifts. It is simply there to provide friends and family with an alternative and lasting way of showing their love and support.

Just as it is an individual choice how much money you would spend on a sympathy gift, it is also an individual choice how much money you'd like to donate.

I'd simply donate an amount that I would normally spend on a gift or flowers and also send a card.

You may want to mention in your card that you made a donation to the the selected charity in remembrance of their loved one.

Also, some people make a donation in addition to sending flowers or a gift to express their sympathy.

Best Wishes,
Jenna