Sometimes it is best to avoid sending Christian sympathy cards, unless you are absolutely certain that the recipent will find such a card comforting. Even the strongest of Christians may be struggling with doubts, depression or even anger.

The Bible does give us some guidelines to help us comfort a hurting loved one.

1. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Romans 12:15
2. Bear Ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:29

I think it is important to see that both of these guidelines speak of doing rather than saying. Sometimes it is best to keep quiet. Sometimes less is more.

Christian Sympathy Comments That Have Been Known to be Hurtful

Sometimes even though we have the best intentions, we can say things that can be hurtful and that put a wall up between us and the person we want to comfort. Even messages that are true, sometimes do not belong in Christian sympathy cards.

• God answers all prayers with yes, no or wait.
• All things work together for good for those who love God.
• God will never give you more than you can handle.
• Do you have any unconfessed sin?
• God is in control.
• Have you prayed enough?
• Is your faith as strong as it should be?
• God is sovereign.

Some of these statements might be reassuring later on in the grief process, but it's best not to include them in a sympathy card. So, what should you write in Christian sympathy cards? Here are some ideas.

Christian Words of Sympathy

• Wishing you comfort in friendship and hope in prayer.
• Words cannot heal the pain of losing someone so dear. May God give you the strength to overcome the pain.
• May the love of those around you and the love of God, help you through the days ahead.
• May God be with you and comfort you.
• May the peace of the Lord be with you.
• May you be filled with the peace of God that surpasses all understanding.
• Know that we are sharing in your sorrow and lifting you up in prayer. May you feel God's comfort and grace all around you.

Find more here: Sympathy Bible Verses

Expressing Christian Sympathy

Here are a few tips I came across recently on a pastor's blog. I think they are very helpful to any who knows a grieving Christian.

Posted by: Phil Siefkes Blog: Pastor's Perspective

Expressing Christian Sympathy

While reading the helpful book Christ in The Camp, I have been struck by the expressions of Godward sympathy in the various letters recorded in this book. What hope and comfort these notes must have given to those grieving parents, spouses, and siblings of the fallen Confederate soldiers.

Christ in the Camp is a record of the work of the various chaplains, missionaries, officers, pastors, and colporters (literature distributors) in the Confederate army, particularly in the Army of Northern Virginia. Published by Sprinkle Publications in 1986, it is a reprint of the original work by Confederate chaplain John William Jones (which he produced in 1887, and reissued in 1904). The ISBN is 1-929241-00-3. You can purchase the book new for $20-25.

There are many things we can learn from this book, but I want to focus on one question: What can we learn about expressing Christian sympathy from this book? Let me list a few things:

• 1. Make much of God.
• 2. Make much of God's promises.
• 3. Make much of God's mercy, grace, and comfort.
• 4. Make much of God's wisdom, not attempting to give our own explanations for a person's death.
• 5. Make much of God's work and Godly influence through the person’s life, while being careful not to exalt the person.
• 6. Make much of God's Word, quoting appropriate verses or phrases from the Word.
• 7. Make much of the importance and privilege of prayer, reminding the grieving to come boldly to the throne of grace to receive mercy and grace to help at just the right time.
• 8. Make much of God's providence in orchestrating events to bring glory to His name.

Hopefully these few thoughts will encourage us to offer Godward encouragement to those who are grieving.

Lastly, may I encourage those readers of this blog to consider reading this book in light of the war in Iraq. Who knows all that God is doing in our armies? This book is certainly a stimulation to pray more for those Christians who fight for their country, for the Godly chaplains who work in their midst, and for the Christian officers who lead them.

Do you need a Christian sympathy card?

My favorite places to buy Christian sympathy cards are:

• Dayspring
• Current Catalog

You may also be interested in:

Christian Sympathy Poems

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